To My girlfriends,

My thighs were stolen from me during the
night a few years ago. It was just that
quick. I went to sleep in my body and
woke up with someone else's thighs. The
new ones had the texture of cooked
oatmeal. Who would have done such a
cruel thing to legs that had been mine for
years? Whose thighs were these and what
happened to mine? Hurt and angry, I
resigned myself to living out my life in
jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose. Then,
just when my guard was down, the thieves
struck again.